Nelson Mandela Kicks Naomi Campbell To The Curb!

Sorry Naomi, but you blew it big time baby!

Crazy-ass supermodel, Naomi Campbell best known for being the best damn cell phone thrower on the planet, was told recently by Nelson Mandela that she was dropped from his concert line up list. The psycho supermodel was dropped from appearing as a presenter for the star-studded bash due to her latest run-in with the law. Nevertheless being the supermodel that she is showed up in a black chiffon, almost see-through dress and brought along her new squeeze/eye candy, Marcus Elias.

Mandela dropped Campbell as a presenter from the birthday party/concert because of the 46664 AIDS charity he organizes.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Nelson Mandela Rules!

The Unity of Barack & Hillary is Weird Not To Mention Totally Hypocritical!

Don’t get me wrong, i’m a person all for unity (especially in Unity New Hampshire) but this is ridiculous not to mention totally hypocritical!

Am I the only person on the planet who finds the sudden “campaigning partnership” of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton a little weird not to mention totally hypocritical!

To finish reading the rest of this article please click on hypocritical unity.

Messy Divorce Hollywood Style Starring Christie Brinkley, Peter Cook & Diana Bianchi!

What’s with the 20 something women of today?

Don’t these “girls gone wild” have any morals not to mention common sense?

Of course, we all know about high-priced hooker, Ashley Dupree’s affair with former New York Governor, Eliot Spitzer.

Now that all of the hoopla has died down about Ashley, along comes another happy hooker in the making to fill the void.

Enter now 20 something skank/aspiring singer, Diana Bianchi.

The 20 something nobody had an affair with a married man but not just any married man, this moron had an affair with Peter Cook otherwise known as Mr. Christie “Supermodel” Brinkley.

Can anybody out there say stupid!

Hey Diana, intelligent women know that you never mess with a supermodel’s man or there’ll be hell to pay!

Good going, Einstein!

Furthermore, this nasty-ass chick (and yes Diana I am referring to you) “claims” that she was sexually harrassed by Christie Brinkley’s philandering husband. She said he enticed her to his business with a promised doubled salary then proceeded to seduce her.

(Like I said before this chick is nothing but a happy hooker in the making.)

Diana also said that Cook took advantage of her.

Hey Diana, I agree that you were 19 years old which is young but girlfriend you were old enough to know right from wrong and sleeping with a married man is definitely wrong, Diana and you damn well know it!

Quit playin’ dumb!

Although in your defense I know that it probably isn’t an act, you are truly dumb.

Sorry Diana, I know that the truth can hurt sometimes but girl you know it’s true! Oooh, oooh, oooh, I love you!

P.S. Milli Vanilli totally sucks!

Anyhoo back to the show!

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Happy Hooker in the Making!

Michelle Obama Took A Page Right Out Of The Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Handbook Of Cute Clothing!

Michelle Obama wore a cute little black and white dress on her guest stint on the morning gabfest, “The View” and sales of the $148.00 dress went through the roof!

In fact the store where Michelle Obama bought the off-the-rack dress, (that’s right I said off-the-rack dress not designer or haute coute dress!) “White House/Black Market” reported that women were literally snatching it up left and right and if you were in their way you would have been trampled!

This occurrence truly shows the gravity of the power of fashion.

And when I say power, I mean POWER!

Alot of people underestimate just how powerful a “cute article of clothing” can be.

But intuitive women like Michelle Obama don’t.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Cute Clothing.

Like Rock N’ Roll, “Celebrity Circus” and “American Idol” are here to stay!

If the 1970’s tv shows, “The Gong Show” and “Dance Fever” were to come on the air today and with Hollywood remaking retro tv shows like crazy you know damn well you’ll be seeing “Gong Show 2009″ and “Celebrity Dance Fever” very soon on your digitally enhanced screen.

For the simple fact that reality tv shows are here to stay!!!

Especially the ones with 3 judges because let’s face it everybody loves this formula.

You have one goody two shoes judge who tells contestants they were good when in fact they sucked, one heavy-set judge who says the word, “dog” alot and one judge who tells it like it is and likes to rip contestants new a-holes.

With a reality tv formula like that you can’t go wrong!

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Reality Tv Is Here To Stay!

Roger Ebert and the National Enquirer have something in common, Yuck!

The National Enquirer otherwise known as that bastion of literary excellence!

(Loud-Ass Snicker!)

The creme de la creme of supermarket tabloids!

(Again, loud-ass snicker!)

Is actually doing something even more stupid than usual, if you can believe that!

Are ya’ll sittin’ down?

Get this ya’ll.

The National Enquirer is giving reviews of tv shows!

(Again, loud-ass snicker!)

Check this out.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on National Enquirer.

Number One on John McCain’s Bucket List: Choose a Substantially Younger Running Mate!

Gee whiz! Looking at the above picture it’s hard for me to believe that John McCain was ever that young!

Anyhoo, back to the show.

Now that the circus has left town (i.e. The Democrats finally have a nominee) the real showdown can begin. McCain vs. Obama for the Presidency of the United States.

But before we can really and truly get down to the nitty-gritty, the American voting public has got to know one thing. Who will be McCain’s and Obama’s partner-in-crime. (i.e. Possibly the new Veep of the U.S.)

Although I am curious about who both men will pick, i’m extra, extra, extra curious about John McCain’s choice for the simple discriminatory fact that he’s 71 years old.

And people don’t hate me for saying this but let’s keep it real, if elected this senior citizen could kick the bucket at anytime during his tenure. (Although to continue keeping it real, so could Barack Obama because let’s face it when it’s our time to meet our maker it’s our time but John McCain’s chances of meeting his maker soon are through the f-ing roof!)

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Kick the Bucket.

Would You Destroy Your Life For $500,000 On The Reality Tv Show, “The Moment Of Truth?”

Have you ever stolen medicine out of another person’s cabinet for recreational purposes?

Have you ever had sex with any of your friends wives?

Do you blame your father for ruining your childhood?

Do you think that your best friend has the chops to make it as a professional musician?

The above are just some of the questions that have been asked on Fox Tv’s hit reality show, “The Moment of Truth.”

This tv show is not only highly controversial but highly entertaining (I know, i’m going to hell for saying that!) mostly because I am not a contestant, family member or friend appearing on the show. So basically I can sit back and watch the mayhem ensue.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Moment of Truth!

How Hollywood is still fickle about showing a guy’s pickle!

Back in the day when a crew was shooting a porno and a guy’s penis was exposed you could immediately hear the word “pickle” shouted from every rooftop until that shot was erased.

With movies like “9 1/2 Weeks”and tv shows like “Sex in the City” shattering taboos on human sexuality there is one thing that has unfortunately remained unchanged.

And that’s Hollywood’s refusal to show “pickle” in mainstream Rated “R” movies.

And as a 38 heterosexual Black Female, I gotta’ say that’s a damn shame!

I mean, oh sure, we gotta’ glimpse of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “pickle” in the first “Terminator” movie and we got to see Richard Gere’s “pickle” in “American Gigolo” and thank you God, we got to see a snippet of Denzel Washington’s “pickle” in the movie, “Ricochet” but basically other than a scattering you really see little “pickle” in mainstream Rated “R” movies.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Pickle!

Will NBC Dump Hulk Hogan From The Hit Reality Tv Show “American Gladiators” Because Of His Family’s Controversial Comments?

Below is a partial transcript from the Nancy Grace show detailing the controversial comments made by Hulk Hogan and his family.

GRACE: Good evening, I`m Nancy Grace. I want to thank you for being with us. “Wrestlemania” and reality TV superstar Hulk Hogan is on the ropes. His 17 year old son Nick Hogan was involved in a disastrous drag racing crash leaving his 23-year-old friend, John Graziano left with brain damage. Hogan and family now caught on tape blaming the comatose victim, whining about the system, even scheming to make a buck off the whole thing by turning it into a reality TV show. I guess Hogan doesn`t know best.

(BEGIN AUDIO CLIP)

LINDA, HOGAN MOTHER: She`s not sad, she`s just acting angry like she just wants the money. John never meant anything to her or Ed. It`s just sad because I really appreciated you kids, and I just miss John and I miss you, too. And it`s, like, she`s not suffering. I am! I have the loss. She could give two (DELETED)

NICK HOGAN: I`m going to ask them, at least, because I`m in — I`m in maximum, I`m going to ask them to at least put me in a cell with, you know, like, maybe something with, you know, some bars where I could see some people or something.

HULK HOGAN: OK. All right. Don`t freak out.

NICK HOGAN: I don`t know. Like, if you could — if she could call the judge or something, just please ask them to put me on house arrest just so I can get out of here because this is the only place I can be in is here.

HULK HOGAN: OK, Bubba. I`m trying, all right? I`m trying.

NICK HOGAN: I know. I know. I know. Will you work on that reality deal for me and get that thing lined up so the minute I walk out of wherever I walk out of, it`s there, boom?

HULK HOGAN: Can you do it while you`re on probation?

NICK HOGAN: Yes. Of course.

HULK HOGAN: Yes. OK. You want to do it with Pink Sneakers or you want to do it with someone else?

NICK HOGAN: I want to do it where I`ll make the most money.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Hulk Hogan On The Ropes!

Ridiculous Solutions to Ridiculous Gas Prices!

Today $3.93 for a gallon of gas, tomorrow $3,930 for a gallon of gas!

I mean, when will this insanity stop!

When will gas prices return to an affordable price!

I mean, what the hell is an average American with a tiny-ass gas guzzling foreign car to do?

Hey average American, don’t fret!

Help is here!

I say if you can’t beat em’, join em’!

With gas prices being at an all time high, below are a few ridiculous solutions on how to solve the current gas problem.

-Go to the upcoming Democratic and Republican Conventions. Be sure to bring a couple of hundred canning jars with you and load up on all of the gas coming out of the politicians mouths. (This particular kind of gas can be very lethal and extra potent!)

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Gas Prices are Ridiculous!

Bad Parenting Tips for Gay & Lesbians: Dina Lohan–Shame on you for letting your 14 year old daughter walk around looking like Tammy Faye Baker!

Last night, the reality tv show, “Living Lohan” premiered on the “E” channel.

Here are some of the forgettable highlights:

-Dina Lohan (a.k.a. Lindsay’s momager) revealed to the world that she reads the tabloids everyday to see if there are any false stories about her children in it. (So basically this bitch reads, the National Enquirer twenty-four seven and has her attorney on speed dial!)

-The Lohan family lives in Long Island New York. (Loud-ass yawn!)

-Nana (a.k.a. Lindsay’s grandmother) is constantly hounded by the paparazzi. (Again, loud-ass yawn!)

-14 year old (although this kid looks about 19 years old) Ali Lohan (a.k.a. Lindsay’s baby sister) revealed to the world that she is working on her first album which incidentally would have never happened if she wasn’t related to Lindsay Lohan. This snot-nosed brat would be paying her dues in the music industry just like everybody else but there is something to be said about nepotism in Hollywood. (Shame on you Ali, for riding your nasty-ass famous sister’s coattails! Hey kid, your 14 years old, you’re old enough to know better! If not, that’s your job Dina! Oh wait a minute I forgot, you don’t have a “real” job nor have to get one because you live off of your famous kid!)

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Bad Parenting!

Sorry Gay Guys, but unfortunately Kristi Yamaguchi won instead of Jason Taylor!

I really really really wanted Marlee Matlin to win the “Dancing With The Stars” competition for all of the hearing impaired people out there.

God, this woman is such an inspiration plus I just loved her in the movie, “Children of a Lesser God!”

Marlee, you rock!

But I just wish that you could have rocked it on the “Dancing With The Stars” stage a little bit more.

Boo hoo hoo!

My second choice for winner was Marissa Jaret Winokur.

I really wanted her to win so that she could represent for all of the “big girls” out there.

And in Hollywood terms that means any woman who wears a size bigger than 2.

Haute couture sucks!

Take that Paris Hilton!

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Cheater Kristi!

(Loud Scream!) 2026 Delegates Needed To Win The Democratic Nomination!

2026, a number that was so close for John McCain to obtain (Hey, that rhymes! Cool!), but a number so damn far for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to obtain.

Dammit!

I hate to say it but at this rate by the time either Hillary or Barack has enough delegates to win the Democratic nomination and run up against Republican John McCain, the 2008 presidential election will be over!

But on the bright and sunny side, at least the Democrats will already have a presidential candidate ready to run up against a Republican in the 2012 presidential election!

To finish reading the rest of this article please click on Loud Scream!

Would you let a Reality Tv cooking show cater your wedding?

On a recent episode of Bravo’s hit reality tv show, “Top Chef” one of the elimination challenges was called “Wedding Wars.”

For this challenge the chefs were divided into two teams. One team cooked a meal for the groom and the other team cooked a meal for the bride.

To make a short story even shorter, the team who cooked the meal for the bride ended up winning and Nikki Cascone, a chef on the groom’s team was eliminated from the show.

I am now going to put my 2 cents in.

To finish reading the rest of this article please click on 2 cents.

Why Am I The Last One To Know That Dick Cheney Has His Own Official Digs!

Hey!

Am I the only person in the United States of America who didn’t know that there was a Vice Presidential Mansion?

I feel so dumb!

I feel so left out!

I’m really hurt!

To think that I had to hear about this interesting fact on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno while he was telling a joke!

How come they didn’t teach this stuff back in the 70’s when I was in elementary school!

Damn catholic schools!

Why am I always the last to know things!

Why couldn’t I have read it in a text book in school just like everybody else!

Why must I always be left out of the loop!

I’m really hurt!

In fact, i’m devastated!

I just hope I have the fortitude to finish writing this story.

(Okay Tina, enough of this pity party, you can do it! Channel your emotions and finish writing this story! Okay?)

(Okay!)

P.S. I was briefly talking to myself but that’s over with now and i’m talking to you.

Anyhoo back to the show!

I mean, I knew that the Vice President lived somewhere, I knew the guy wasn’t exactly homeless or anything but I never thought that he had his own OFFICIAL residence!

To finish reading the rest of my story please click on Cheney’s Digs!

Meatloaf and Tiffany do not belong in the same sentence together!

Oh rock n’ roll gods, say it ain’t so!

Say it!

I said say it!

(I’m like totally all up in your face!)

Say it! Say it! Say it!

At this time, I would like to send a shout out to the late Sam Kinison!

Hey Sam, I really miss your comedic genius not to mention all that kick-ass shouting you used to do oh so well!

White brother, you are truly missed!

Anyhoo back to the show!

I couldn’t believe it!

I still can’t believe it!

A couple of nights ago, I wish I hadn’t seen what I had seen!

But unfortunately I did and I just want to go straight to rock n’ roll heaven and die!

A couple of nights ago, I saw the worst thing that a rock n’ roll fan could ever truly see.

People, brace yourselves!

(I’m crying right now!)

Boo hoo hoo!

I saw one of the greatest songs of the rock n’ roll era used in a cheesy-ass commercial!

Sacrilege!

To finish reading the rest of this story please click on Meatloaf.

People, listen up! Tom Cruise can go onto any talk show that he wants to!

Question: Should Tom Cruise go onto Oprah again?

My answer: Hell yeah!

At this time, I would like to send a shout out to Gretchen Wilson and to all of those redneck girls like her “keepin’ it country!”

Cause she’s a redneck woman
She ain’t no high class broad
She’s just a product of her raisin’
And she says “hey y’all” and “yee haw”
And she keeps her Christmas lights on, on her front porch all year long
And she knows all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here’s to all her sisters out there keepin’ it country
Let her get a big “Hell Yeah” from the redneck girls just like her
Hell Yeah!
Hell Yeah!

I said, hell yeah!

Sing it, country girl!

God, I just love that song, Redneck Woman!

Anyhoo, back to the show.

Alot of people think that after making a total jackass of himself the last time that he went onto Oprah that he should NEVER appear on her talk show again but I totally disagree.

I personally think that Tom Cruise should not only go onto Oprah but any talk show that he wants to.

I mean just as long as Tom doesn’t do any of the following things, homeboy will be just fine.

P.S. I’m calling Tom a homeboy because his adopted son, Connor is Black thereby giving him some street cred in the Black community.

Anyhoo, back to the show.

-As long as Tom doesn’t jump on a couch, chair, ottoman, canopy bed or trampoline for the rest of his life on Oprah or any other talk show, homeboy will be just fine.

-As long as Tom doesn’t dance around in neon-yellow granny panties to Bob Seger’s, “Old Time Rock n’ Roll” on Oprah, homeboy will be just fine.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Tom Cruise is just Crazy!

Hell no! Jay Leno, don’t go!

In less than a year after 16 years on The Tonight Show, Jay Leno will gracefully step down as host of the popular late night talk show.

Enter Conan O’Brien.

EWWW!

Hey! Is there anybody else out there who is just as repulsed by this change as I am?

(I doubt it!)

I love you Jay Leno!

Conan O’Brien, you suck!

NBC, you guys and gals are such morons! Couldn’t you have found a better late night talk show host than Conan O’Brien? Pathetic! But I digress.

But if the truth be told, my favorite late night talk show host was probably Arsenio Hall because he was young, hip, wore crazy-ass suits and had the “dog pound.”

WUF! WUF! WUF!

But again I digress.

Let’s face it, Conan O’Brien is no Jay Leno!

To be honest the brother isn’t even Jimmy Kimmel on a bad day, but again I digress.

To finish reading the rest of this article please click on Jay don’t go!

I Know All Crazy-Ass Gay Guys Would Agree: Tom Cruise Can Go Onto Any Talk Show That He Wants To!

Question: Should Tom Cruise go onto Oprah again?

My answer: Hell yeah!

At this time, I would like to send a shout out to Gretchen Wilson and to all of those redneck girls like her “keepin’ it country!”

Cause she’s a redneck woman
She ain’t no high class broad
She’s just a product of her raisin’
And she says “hey y’all” and “yee haw”
And she keeps her Christmas lights on, on her front porch all year long
And she knows all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here’s to all her sisters out there keepin’ it country
Let her get a big “Hell Yeah” from the redneck girls just like her
Hell Yeah!
Hell Yeah!

I said, hell yeah!

Sing it, country girl!

God, I just love that song, Redneck Woman!

Anyhoo, back to the show.

Alot of people think that after making a total jackass of himself the last time that he went onto Oprah that he should NEVER appear on her talk show again but I totally disagree.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Crazy-Ass Cruise Control!

Okay, Gay Guys! Altogether Now! Note To Celebrity Fit Club: No More Sommore!

No More Sommore!
For the love of god honey, cover up!

On the season finale of VH1’s hit reality tv show, Celebrity Fit Club, lame comedienne, Sommore flashed her boobs “girls gone wild style” to her castmates after finally facing her fears and climbing a “tree house style” obstacle course.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, i’m all for a person facing and conquering their fears but couldn’t this lame comedienne find a more classy way to celebrate it other than getting nasty and flashing her knockers.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on No More Sommore!

One-Hit TV Show Wonder, Brian Dunkleman Says He Gave American Idol The Boot Not Vice Versa!

One-hit tv show wonder, Brian Dunkleman told the judges on the finale of VH1’s hit reality tv show, Celebrity Fit Club that contrary to the rumors that he was fired from his hosting gig on American Idol he was the one who actually made the decision to quit the show.

Ever since his noticeable absence from the second season of American Idol, rumors have run rapid for about 15 minutes (because basically nobody really gave a shit) about the reason for his sudden departure, the most popular being that he was “too difficult” to work with.

(As if anyone could work amicably with Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul!)

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on What the hell happened to Brian Dunkleman!

Grey’s Anatomy’s, Katherine Heigl Needs To Take “Bad Acting Lessons” From CSI: Miami’s David Caruso!

Kat, haven’t you learned anything from David Caruso!

F.Y.I. David Caruso is the fiery-haired idiot who left the popular tv show, NYPD Blue after one season to pursue a big screen movie career and literally “bombed!” After years of big screen failure and after some serious begging to get NYPD Blue to release him from his contract, the now sunglassed idiot bounced back big time as the lead on CBS’s hit tv show spinoff, CSI: Miami.

Don’t leave your popular tv show to pursue a big screen movie career!

Caucasian, are you crazy!

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Kat is Crazy!

A Question For Lesbians: Can John McCain Handle The Britney Spears Vagina-Tampon Women Of Today?

I’m gonna’ make this article short but uncomfortable.

And i’m extremely proud of that!

Anyhoo, back to the show.

I betcha’ if a woman walked up to John McCain and said the word “vagina”, he would slap her across the face, call her a “creep” then stalk off in a huff because he would be so offended by a woman uttering the word “vagina” outloud in a public place.

Let’s face it, John McCain is “old school” and to keep it real, just plain old.

I betcha’ if a lesbian couple like Ellen Degeneres and Portia De Rossi were to go up to John McCain and whip out a couple of tampons and wave them around teasingly in his face he would probably gasp loudly at seeing a lesbian couple and a couple of tampons in the same place, cover his eyes and grope his way to the nearest exit.

God, I would pay money to see that, but I digress.

So I pose this question to you…………………………….

“Can John McCain’s “old school” ass handle the Britney Spears vagina-tampon women of today?”

These women are brazen, fearless, shameless, ruthless and everywhere! They’re his new constituents! And they ain’t goin’ no where! They’re in rapid supply and they multiply!

(Long evil laugh!)

With women as young as teenyboppers flashing their vajayjays on YouTube or at any camera in hopes of furthering or jumpstarting their careers, could John McCain handle these women in his presidential tenure?

With women getting knocked up out of wedlock at the drop of a hat like it’s the latest fashion, can John McCain handle it?

With sex tapes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian making women with absolutely no talent household names and oodles and oodles of cash, can John McCain handle it?

This good ol’ boy is from a totally different generation from the Britney Spears vagina-tampon women of today.

With Jenna Jamison telling women how they can make love like a porn star and porn not being available in John McCain’s day, i’m going to ask all of you of there reading this article……………………..

“Can a conservative Republican like John McCain handle the Britney Spears vagina-tampon women of today?”

Please let me know.

Why Do Some States Even Show Up For The Miss USA Pageant?

It’s not like you’ve ever heard of Miss Iowa or Miss Idaho taking the crown in a beauty pageant. Well, at least not since the 1950’s, but I digress.

It’s always states like New York, California or Texas who wins.

Speaking of the devil, Miss Texas took home the crown at the Miss USA pageant this year. Surprise, surprise!

Personally, i’m so sick of the monopoly that the above states have on some of these beauty pageants. Do I smell a little payola going on?

At this time, I would like to send a shout out to legendary rock n’ roll disc jockey, Alan Freed! (Thank you white brother! Rock n’ Roll totally rules! I love ya’!)

I mean, New York, California and Texas need to step back and give other states a chance too no matter how ugly or untalented that their representatives may be.

Every state deserves a fair shot.

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Miss USA.

“Happy Days” Washed-Up Star, Erin Moran Did It For The Money, Honey!

BOMBSHELL!

On the second to the last episode of VH1’s hit reality tv show “Celebrity Fit Club” washed-up 70’s sitcom star Erin Moran revealed that the only reason she did show was for the money.

Duh! That was so obvious! Look at you, you’re only like 124 pounds! It’s incredibly obvious that you didn’t need to lose any weight! Duh! Erin, we already know that you only did the show for the money because we haven’t heard from you in 24 years which means you haven’t worked in 24 years! Duh!

The only thing that I have to say about your “moment of truth” is girlfriend couldn’t you be a little more discreet!

Erin, I don’t want to hear that your broke!

To finish reading the rest of my article please click on Washed-Up 70’s Star.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell Would Make Any President A Perfect Personal Bodyguard!

Kevin Costner was Whitney Houston’s bodyguard and she said that she would always love him………………….

So Hillary, John and Barack whichever one of you guys or girl wins the presidential election, do yourselves a favor and spread the love!

Give this psycho-supermodel-chick a job as your personal bodyguard.

Because people, let’s face it, this chick is only a stone’s throw away from getting designer-booted from the modeling industry and every cellphone store on the planet.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

To continue reading the rest of my article please click on Naomi The Bodyguard!